Family of Choice: I love you.
Valentine's Day is right around the corner, and I work at a card shop now.
This means that a large majority of my time is spent staring at all of the red romance cards. I'm not going to lie, it's made me a little gooshy lately. Also, often I get really mad about some of the really horrible sexist cards. (There's still quite a market for sexism. >.< ) It's like a roller-coaster of emotion.
First: ohhhhhh this card is SO cute and kittens and glitter and stuff.
And then: WHO BUYS A CARD THAT SAYS THANKS, WIFE, FOR DOING ALL THE HOUSEWORK WHILE I WATCH TV??????
And back to: oh my glob this one is so pretty and sweet and I NEED TO BUY IT BECAUSE THAT'S EXACTLY HOW I FEEL WHEN I'M IN LOVE.
Like I said. Roller coaster of feels.
But today, it got me really thinking about... well, Family.
Like many of you, I'm sure, I have a bad history with certain parts of my family. I mean, there's a whole half side that I just pretend don't exist anymore. (Clearly it is my father's side of the family. Because he's evil, as I may have mentioned.)
Family is really hard. They are these people that you have in your life without your control. They will always be there. Which, in the case of us queers, is very difficult to balance.
Should I tell Great Aunt Hilda that I'm a giant lesbian this christmas? Or maybe just wait until she dies and hope her ghost 'forgives' me? Uncle Billy used the f word on new years, sure don't want to tell him about the gay sex I'm having.
Okay, to be honest, I've been really lucky. I don't have a Great Aunt Hilda or Uncle Billy, and so far my (very christian and republican) extended family still seem to care for me despite my depravity.
But there's that word there. Despite. Sometimes family just can't love all of you. They have to love you, but they don't have to love that thing that you do, even though, let's be honest, it is a VERY BIG PART OF WHO YOU ARE.
That's just what family is, really. If you're lucky you get a family that really loves and understands you no matter who you are. I'm lucky. My mom is like the coolest most wonderful mom in the universe. She 100% supports my life choices, and she loves me. Not despite things. Including things.
BUT THE WHOLE POINT OF THIS... was not to really rag on family or say that life sucks or any of that. The point is this: I have found chosen family in my life that love me for me. They don't love me 'despite' my queerness. They love me, including my queerness.
So here, a week before Valentine's Day, I just wanted to acknowledge that love that I've found. That Chosen-Family bond that I am so lucky to have and so very grateful for.
Guys, you know who you are.
You are the people that have helped me through my deepest and darkest times.
You are the people who have gotten drunk with me, gotten silly with me, talked about the big hard issues, listened to my worst fears.
You are the people that I am not afraid to confide in, who I will always lend an ear or shoulder to.
You are the people that sometimes I don't see for months or years but when we do finally find each other, it feels just the same again.
You are the people with whom I feel comfortable being who I really am. You get to see the real me, every day, every minute, no matter how ugly the me is. Or how shy.
Our DNA does not match, but you are my family of choice forever.
I am so very grateful to have found a family that loves me, as strange and silly as I am.
Blood may be thicker than water, but we are of stronger stuff even still.
This means that a large majority of my time is spent staring at all of the red romance cards. I'm not going to lie, it's made me a little gooshy lately. Also, often I get really mad about some of the really horrible sexist cards. (There's still quite a market for sexism. >.< ) It's like a roller-coaster of emotion.
First: ohhhhhh this card is SO cute and kittens and glitter and stuff.
And then: WHO BUYS A CARD THAT SAYS THANKS, WIFE, FOR DOING ALL THE HOUSEWORK WHILE I WATCH TV??????
And back to: oh my glob this one is so pretty and sweet and I NEED TO BUY IT BECAUSE THAT'S EXACTLY HOW I FEEL WHEN I'M IN LOVE.
Like I said. Roller coaster of feels.
But today, it got me really thinking about... well, Family.
Like many of you, I'm sure, I have a bad history with certain parts of my family. I mean, there's a whole half side that I just pretend don't exist anymore. (Clearly it is my father's side of the family. Because he's evil, as I may have mentioned.)
Family is really hard. They are these people that you have in your life without your control. They will always be there. Which, in the case of us queers, is very difficult to balance.
Should I tell Great Aunt Hilda that I'm a giant lesbian this christmas? Or maybe just wait until she dies and hope her ghost 'forgives' me? Uncle Billy used the f word on new years, sure don't want to tell him about the gay sex I'm having.
Okay, to be honest, I've been really lucky. I don't have a Great Aunt Hilda or Uncle Billy, and so far my (very christian and republican) extended family still seem to care for me despite my depravity.
But there's that word there. Despite. Sometimes family just can't love all of you. They have to love you, but they don't have to love that thing that you do, even though, let's be honest, it is a VERY BIG PART OF WHO YOU ARE.
That's just what family is, really. If you're lucky you get a family that really loves and understands you no matter who you are. I'm lucky. My mom is like the coolest most wonderful mom in the universe. She 100% supports my life choices, and she loves me. Not despite things. Including things.
BUT THE WHOLE POINT OF THIS... was not to really rag on family or say that life sucks or any of that. The point is this: I have found chosen family in my life that love me for me. They don't love me 'despite' my queerness. They love me, including my queerness.
So here, a week before Valentine's Day, I just wanted to acknowledge that love that I've found. That Chosen-Family bond that I am so lucky to have and so very grateful for.
Guys, you know who you are.
You are the people that have helped me through my deepest and darkest times.
You are the people who have gotten drunk with me, gotten silly with me, talked about the big hard issues, listened to my worst fears.
You are the people that I am not afraid to confide in, who I will always lend an ear or shoulder to.
You are the people that sometimes I don't see for months or years but when we do finally find each other, it feels just the same again.
You are the people with whom I feel comfortable being who I really am. You get to see the real me, every day, every minute, no matter how ugly the me is. Or how shy.
Our DNA does not match, but you are my family of choice forever.
I am so very grateful to have found a family that loves me, as strange and silly as I am.
Blood may be thicker than water, but we are of stronger stuff even still.
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